Facts about Divorce

Two years after divorce 70% of couples regret being divorced.

And four years after the divorce, 70% of the couples believed that they could have worked out their marriage problems.

However in marriages where divorce is a possibility and the couples decided to work through their problems. Within a few months the majority of couples go from being very dissatisfied to being satisfied or even very satisfied with their marriage.

The average cost within five years of divorce is $100,000. This is due to legal fees. The cost of new housing, vehicles, children expenses, and cost of own living all add up very quickly. In this respect, marriage counseling is a bargain.

On another note, men are less likely to file for divorce. And men are more likely to acknowledge the fact that they don't want to live life without their spouse than women.

As we are studying marriages it is very interesting to me to learn about why people get divorced. It is commonly believed that divorce happens due to affairs or money problems, but in actuality the source of most marriage problems are communication problems.

Stress

This week as been one to remember. We have all had them, the weeks where we try and try to be positive and proactive. But despite our best efforts, it feels like the world is conspiring against us.

This week has flown by in a undesirable blur. I have just been striving to survive this week, but do not fear my little blog readers, this message is not one of doom and gloom.

I propose that we should all give an effort to change our perspective and attitude. Yes, it may be very very difficult, but anything worth doing is hard. Life is not glum, life is happy. We are meant to happy and find joy in the little things!

Here is a list of 20 things I am grateful for:
(I challenge you to do the same thing)

1. My lovely mother who takes care of me.
2. My father who provides for me.
3. My older sister who gets excited for me.
4. My older brother who tells me I am a great person.
5. My little sister who is so thoughtful and loving.
6. My little brother who is obnoxious, but knows how to make me laugh.
7. My Father in Heaven who loves an cares for me so.
8. My health, I can walk and am generally healthy.
9. Finals, because that means I am in college.
10. Hardships because I can come closer to God, and that means I am one step closer to who he wants me to be.
11. Sunshine.
12. My roommates, they are so kind and loving and put up with me.
13. Bubble Baths, they relax me and allow me to take a break from life.
14. Polarid camera, I can capture memories and remember my college life.
15. My dog, she is happy and has been there for me.
16. My grandma and grandpa who love me unconditionally.
17. Nail polish, makes me feel beautiful.
18. BYU-I, I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be on this wonderful campus.
19. Sleep, sleep is a precious event that saves me daily.
20. Ice cream, helps on every kind of day!

Stay positive! :)

More On Dating

We have been learning a lot in class about the proper and most effective way to date.

To get to know the people you are dating there are three things you should do.

1. Talk- if you talk you will be able to have a mutual self-disclosure. This is where you are able to feel safe explaining and sharing experiences and traits about yourself with your significant other. As you do this, your significant other can do the same.

2. Togetherness- You should spend time in a wide range of activities. There are many benefits to doing just this. You can get to know your partner in any number of circumstances. My grandpa has always told me that if you want to get to know the true side of man, take him on a road trip and camping, preferably at the same time. I am assuming you want to spend your life with someone that is able to handle situations effectively.

3. Time- Time will tell many things. It has been studied and found that it take 3 months of knowing someone to truly begin to see them as they are. How long have you been dating your significant other?

As you date it is important to be smart about who, what, when and how much dating you do. Dating is preparation for marriage, and that is something that we must realize.

This weeks post- Dating!

I know that we are told that dating is good preparation for marriage, but what does that really mean? How does it help you? Well that is what I am here to tell you about :)

The three Ps for dating:
Planned.
Paid for.
Paired off.

Not only is this a good indicator as to whether or not you are on a date, it is by these three Ps that we prepare for marriage.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that the men of households have the responsibility to preside, provide and protect. When you plan, you preside. When you pay for, you provide for your date. And when you are paired off it allows the men to protect you. Now it is easily seen how dating can truly prepare you for marriage. If the man you are dating cannot properly date you (according to the three Ps), you may reconsider how successful of a relationship it is.  Just some food for thought :)

February 28th Post- Family Rules

I forgot to add this post, so it is a little outdated- my apologies.

In class we were asked to make a list of family rules that we had growing up, so here are mine.

Dickson Family Rules:
1. Finish what you start.
2. Be better than your parents were.
3. No empty chairs.
4. No hitting.
5. Be kind.
6. Once a week family meetings.
7. Prayers and scriptures every night.
8. Curfew is 12.
9. Tell parents where you are going.
10. Be honest.
11. Do not do anything that you would be ashamed of getting caught doing.

Looking back at the way my parents raised me, I have come to realize all that they have done for me. At the time I resented the way they parented, wishing that they would let up a bit when it came to clothes, or boys or other silly things. But now I am grateful for them for teaching me what is wrong and what is right- and they were not wishy washy about it. They were straight to the point! So to you teenagers out there, I know you've heard it a billion times, but your parents are strict because they want the best for you.

Roomies for Life

These are my roommates, and I think the world of them. All of the lessons I've learned in Family Relations have been easily applicable to life in college. We have been able to create our own Zion in apartment #207. We say roommate prayer as often as we can.

My roommates and I love and serve one another. These three ladies made my birthday a great and special one. Britta (far left) made me breakfast and did a family tradition to make me feel at home. McKenzie (second to the left) blew up 55+ balloons and attached them to the ceiling, as well as made me a Happy Birthday sign. And Bethany (far right) gave me the worlds most delicious chocolate, cookies and cream Dove chocolate.

I think it is important to love those who are around you. And it is it important to brighten the world with your own smile. So do not forget to serve and love one another :)

Some days are just bad ones

This last week has been rough. I have been sick and tired. And so my post today is about how sometimes life isn't the best, and that is okay.

We want to moan and grumble, and yes, we should let ourselves- but we MUST limit our complaining and self pity. Be sad, and then get over it.

Be happy. Be thankful you are alive. Look for the good in the world. And most importantly- SERVE. Take a look at this video!

http://vimeo.com/53357089 This is about people helping when Sandy hit a few years back. Doesn't it just give you the chills?

Go out and serve your fellowman.

Gratitude for Family

In the last week or so I have completed an assignment in my Family Relations class that has truly opened my eyes. I know that this is often what students tell their teachers to hopefully get a good grade- and while I would appreciate a good grade, that is not the reason why I say this assignment I’ve completed has opened my eyes. This project was to create a metaphor for my family and then write a paper about the tendencies and relationships of my family members. As I went about my project, I thought it would be like a lot of other assignments I’ve done for school- neither good or bad. However I was struck while writing my paper, how grateful I am for my family. It may be because I live away from them for the first time, or because I have put thought into it. My family has truly made me who I am today. I know that I have been guilty in the past of thinking only of the negative aspects of my family- however I know now that that is unfair. Each family has their strong and weak points. But I believe that my family has the strong points where it really counts. We spend time together, we pray together, we serve together and we eat together. We genuinely enjoy each other’s presence and we have an open home to all of our friends and family. And the single greatest thing I am most grateful for in my family is that my parents have raised us with Christ as the center of our home. I cannot think of a better way to raise a family- in fact there is no better way to raise your family. And I have resolved to be more open with my family and the love I feel for them.

Make a list of the things you’re grateful for in relation to your family- it may just surprise you how much there is!

I love, love.

This week was Valentine's Day as many of you know, and this Valentine's Day I thought of love, not of relationships, chocolate and flowers. I was not sure how I was going to put it into words, but then a dear friend of mine posted this on her facebook wall,

"I was thinking about love. Love certainly has become conditional. While loving your friends and family is so natural and easy, loving those who insult you, or disagree with you, or harm you is so much harder, some might say impossible. But Christ was able to love those who harmed him, those who insulted him, those who killed him. That is perfect love. He died for everyone's sins, not just his friends. He died for strangers who he had not even met. That is because he didn't see them as strangers, but as brothers and sisters. Perfect love, for your self, and for others and be achieved through Christ by Following his example."

I have come to realize that Valentine's Day is about loving your friends, family and even strangers. It is a day where we all come together and celebrate love. And love is something we all need more of. The Savior loves us in such a perfect way, and we should strive to love as He does. As we do so, we will feel closer to Him, as well as acquiring a greater love for Him.

Differences is Gender

I have found that in studying gender roles in the home over the last few days has been very interesting to me.

What stuck out to me most was the fact that men and women have very different, but equally important roles to play in the family life.

Where men lack, women make up.

And where women lack, men make up for it.

The differences between genders is a good and natural thing, and should be embraced, not hidden. Men and women are different.

And those differences is what make marriages and family life work so well.

I know that in my life, in a past relationship, when I lacked a certain characteristic my boyfriend has been able to help me in developing new characteristics.

And he was able to teach me to do things that I might never have learned otherwise ("manly" things). I really like that when we are in a relationship with the opposite gender, our differences is what make the relationship work.

And that we both have so much to bring to the table, and so much that we can learn from others.

 

We should celebrate our differences, not try to hide them!

Give Yourself a Break!

This week I have been thinking a lot about the expectations the world places on individuals. And as I have been going through family relations class this week, we learned a bit about these expectations. In this society we are pressured in many aspects. As divorce rates are soaring, and babies being born with out fathers around, it is easy to think that this world is an ever darkening one. It is very sad to think of all the heart break, hurt and angst that is increasing in this world.

But I am here to let you know what we should all take a break from the worry, pain and suffering. Take a moment to unwind, relax, and come to terms with the fact that this world maybe not be inherently good, but that plenty of good still exists. We just must go and seek the good in life, and take in the moments when life is good. In order to change the world, be must be different from the world. Changes begins with you and me.

I love the quote, "Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think". This is where I think it is needed that we all take breaks from life. Most of us are trying to be your best self. Some of us are trying improve and keep are marriages well. Others are trying to raise a child as a single parent. And yet some of us are trying to be the best college student they can be. Give yourself some credit. Be kind to others, and remember that life is good if only you are determined to make it that way.

Could strengthening families strengthen our economy?

This last week, we were asked to view a video from BYU-news. The video is found here:http://byutv.org/show. This video talked a lot about how there are only a few countries in the world that are having enough children to replace the populations that exists now. The rate at which Americans are having children (how many children per women) is not at a high enough number to replace the American populations, as previously stated. However Americans do have a high fertility rate (children per women) compared to most countries- but this is because of immigrants and their children. The video continues to explain possible solutions, and it also brings in other subjects of concern in the world. Such as divorce, co-habitation, the bad economy, and people believing that a family with children is no longer a necessity but more of a possible options. And in our society, independence often translates to not having children to tie you down. Another observation of our society is that social trends tend to take people from family trends.

It gets rather interesting after this subject is brought up. Several people were interviewed and asked if family was something that was needed. The majority of the people stated that family is not needed in our world today, that it is nice- if that is what you want. I found this astounding. Growing up I have always been talk that family is the most important, because family will be with you through all the ups and downs in your life. And that family is central to God's plan. The video wraps up by suggesting that as family importance declines, so does that fertilely decline. And we need people who can take the place of all the doctors, contractors, congressmen, teachers and all else who contribute in keeping our country afloat.

I propose that we need to strengthen families and realize their importance. See their value, and in turn, strong families will strengthen our economy.

Families are not problems- they are solutions.

Families

This week we studied a lot about divorce, marriage, pre-martial sex, working mothers, child birth rates, co-habitation, people living alone, age at which people get married at and other areas of human life in my Family Relations class.

It was very intriguing to me to learn that less and less people are getting married and having children. It is my personal belief that the greatest and most fulfilling joys in life are centered around family. I am not saying that you have to have a spouse and children to be happy. But I do believe that there is great joy in marriage and having children.

This quote comes to mind from David O McKay, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home". I have found that the happiest times of my life have been when I get along with my siblings, parents and grandparents.

Just think of holidays and what they represent. What are they centered around? Family and loved ones.

The Very Beginning

I created this blog so that I can share, at least once a week, wisdom from my Family Relation class. Another part of this class, is to share my blog with any and everyone. And I think this is a great requirement for a my family relations class- I get to share my little "Pearls of Wisdom" each week with everyone. I look forward to update my blog each week :) Thanks for reading!